Q: Hey Nedelle!
I have a thing with a 25 year old male friend. Right now I’m not in a position for a relationship, so I thought I would try for a FWB. We’re both single, and I’m not a girl who gets attached after sex, so that won’t be a problem. And I’m pretty sure he’s a commitment-phobe. How do I ask for FWB without scaring him, or giving him the “slutty vibe”?
A: Hello! Well, if I were you, (and I have been you in this situation!) I would make out with the guy. Just kiss him. Then, during one of those awkward moments “after the fact,” say something casual like, “let’s just stay friends, k?” I fear that if you say something before the make-out session, you’ll jinx it in some way. (I’ve also done this, sigh.)
If he is truly commitment-phobic, then you’re ALL GOOD! Both parties win. But I must warn you, there’s a higher chance he will end up falling for you because you’ve uttered the words, “I just wanna be friends.” Isn’t that how it always works?
One more thing to consider- are you VERY good friends or more like acquaintances? I’ve noticed that weaker friendships can’t stand this type of test. If things get weird at all, your friendship might fizzle out. No harm done, but no reason to continue the friendship.
If you have a really solid friendship, however, then it will endure no matter what the outcome. In this case, you should definitely go for it. For funsies! Why not? (Pride is boring.)