Q: A guy I dated for a month cheated on me in front of my face (went all the way too).. And i took him back after about a week. Please halp! I don’t know how to feel about it. We no longer are on speaking terms because he had to move across the country shortly after. We had an amazing connection and he was the SWEETEST/MOST CONSIDERATE dude while we were together. So confused.
Q: I’ve known this guy for a year and a half and OMG I can’t stop thinking about him! I’ve always liked him as a friend and quietly admired his humor, talent, and kindness. So initially I didn’t find him physically attractive but over the years I started to find him very much so. But when I see him in person I don’t feel anything special towards him which is weird. I’m confused… am I crushing on him or is it something else? Thanks
A: Hello! The most important thing to consider in this situation is how you feel when he’s in your presence. If it’s not ‘there’ when HE is there, then I’m sorry to say, we have a problemo. I’ve experienced a similar thing before, but I’ve also been on the opposite end, which is really bizarre. In one relationship I noticed that the person was thinking of me and diggin’ me hard when we were apart, but in-person he seemed irritable and not that into me. It was a real mindfuck. Eventually I learned that he just wasn’t in it to win it. In all honesty, if you’re not stoked about him at every moment- whether he’s there, not there, kind of there, across the room, inside of you, in your dreams, etc. then it’s not worth pursuing. Perhaps you’re crushing on him because there’s no one else currently blowing your mind. It’s a simple distraction. I think your efforts are better spent meeting new people and going out a lot. Keep this guy as a friend and a litmus test for the type of guy you want to eventually find and fall in love with.
ORRRRRRR take this alternate advice: make out with him once and see if your feelings change and/or intensify! Good luck!
Song Recommendation: Among Dreams by Ariel Pink’s Haunted Graffiti
Song Recommendation: A Place in the Sun by Stevie Wonder
Q: Dear Nedelle,